


why do i enjoy making my favorite characters suffer

by justjoshinya



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, Other, also like theres angst, and implied suicide, enjoy, sup lads this story has been a wip for months so here i am finishing it, tw for self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 13:15:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13614120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjoshinya/pseuds/justjoshinya
Summary: idk man i just like writing jeremy centric angst





	why do i enjoy making my favorite characters suffer

**Author's Note:**

> oof enjoy this thing that i havent got around to finishing for like months until now

Jeremy Heere was by no means the happiest person alive, if you were to ask him he would say he's fine, which wasn't entirely  
false nor was it entirely true, he spent a lot of time being perfectly fine and happy but he spent even more of  
his time being sad and wishing he had enough courage to end it all, no one knew how horrible and   
completely worthless he felt. he didn't feel like he deserved to burden anyone with his problems, most of  
which started after the squip had been a part of his life, 

it made his life utterly miserable, from constantly telling him how worthless he was too shocking him   
whenever he so much as slouched, and even though the squip was gone he could still hear it sometimes,  
making him feel like shit. whether it be by calling him a loser or telling him that Christine was only  
dating him out of pity, or that Michael hated him for what Jeremy did at jakes party, the squip knew  
exactly how to get under his skin and it knew his every weakness, it knew how to make Jeremy truly hate  
himself, 

he did have some self-esteem issues before the whole squip incident but they only escalated after all he   
went through, at some point he crossed a line he always told himself he would never cross, he started  
cutting, and he knew he should've told someone, his dad, Christine, Michael, anyone really. and he knew  
if he told someone they could help him but as messed up as it sounds he didn't want help, and he knew  
that was fucked up, it was fucked up that he enjoyed the pain, it was fucked up that he enjoyed the   
sight of his own blood dripping down his arms and thighs, 

wearing long sleeves hurt, he couldn't pull up his pants without hissing in pain, he couldn't shower  
without it burning his many scars, some new some old. whenever the squip would come back it would  
tell him he was weak for always giving into his urges, it would say his scars were ugly and they made  
him unattractive, Jeremy knew he shouldn't believe it but what could he say he was a dumbass,

he was a dumbass for not telling his dad, he was a dumbass for not telling Michael, he was a dumbass  
for not telling Christine, he was a dumbass for not stopping before it got too bad, but still, if you were to  
ask he would say he was fine and it was no big deal, he didn't want to be weak. he could hardly stand  
being alive, living felt like almost as much of a burden as he did,

when his dad found his lifeless body laying on the bathroom floor with slashed up wrists and a note in his  
pocket, he could hardly breathe. he screamed and cried, wishing this was just a horrible nightmare that  
he'd wake up from at any second,

the funeral was depressing, his dad was a mess. everyone was, even Chloe looked heartbroken. Rich was  
sobbing about how he blamed himself. how it was his fault Jeremy got the squip and how much he   
regretted tormenting him every day, Brooke regretted the fact that even though she noticed his scars she   
never said anything about them, Christine felt hopeless, she loved Jeremy so much and there's no getting him  
back, Micheal couldn't bear it, the pain of losing his best friend of 12 years was almost too much for him, he  
had no idea he felt so worthless. he wants so badly to go back to when they were both happy go lucky kids  
without a care in the world,

(oof i have no idea how the fuck to wrap this up abdhabf i hope u enjoyed this shit show of a fic)


End file.
